Da good personal dark cloud

After spending all the holidays sick, I went back to work today and it wasn’t half as bad as I thought. It was even good. But going there was hard and today I am grateful that it went ok. Because lately I have been needing to flee big time, almost urgently, so unbearable are my conflicts. Then there are days like today where it just goes. I have to measure what is my personal dark cloud and what is me being in the wrong place. Both are true.

So as usual the good things need to be said. Some things are props for doing good things for me, makes sense?

-I washed a full basket of dishes

-I brought my lunch to work

-I walked back home for lunch

-The really real winter

-A quiet day

-No conflict where I thought there would be

-Sensing that things are more ok than I think

-Friends reaching out

-A quiet evening

Amourx.

Today

-A quiet morning

-A lot of sleep last night

-My man

-The lights in my christmas tree

-Better contacts at work

-Progress with a prickly situation

-Came home to a clean house and a salad

-Party tonight

Will have a tough day today… but it will pass.

Amourx

More good things

Because I need them, and I forget that I have them.

-The unadorned christmas tree, first ever to appear in this condo

-Beau who brought it in the house

-He is still the best partner ever ever ever

-A happy and motivated employee

-Good warm waterproof boots

-The very relative upkeep of my house

-My hip getting better

-The good food we prepare together

-My weekly vegetable basket

-My hair getting compliments

-Seeing my friend June who brought me gifts!

-Friendly folks at work

I am not feeling very well at work. I feel threatened and extremely worried about managing well and helping us grow out of issues. I fear I may be erased in the process - or erase myself - because of a dominating colleague. I have to make some hard decisions and am still spinning a wheel in motion and acting as firewoman for multiple fires. Also my grandma is in hospital and I am sad. Overall this is making me stressed at all times, tired when I get home, and sleepless at night. I’m writing here to check-in.

Amourx.