Crashed Ice

hmmmmmm.... I'm seeing a lot of the stick, but no carrot. But that depends where I look. When I look at the mountain, I see kick and glide opportunity. I ski at least once a week, then i repeat the motion in my head in a loop all week. I wish that I could ski every day.

When I look at my flat, I see a tornado that must have caused this mess. What a quiet and long tornado this is.

When I look at yesterday, I see my new condo and my instant mortgage approval, like magic. B-L-I-S-S. When I look at today, I see chaos, the W word that didn't stop. I also see satisfaction - I launched a humongous baby, really.

I see hurt everywhere, is it me? Am I cutting at other people like I cut at myself? I don't even know it, really.

I see my old self, the one that doubts. I see 15 extra pounds of a 35 year old girl. I see that I need time. To call my mom!

Amourx.

Crispy thoughts

I took singing lessons a while back. It was more about finding my voice (don't wince! I'm litteral here) and indeed I felt a shift in my perceptions after a few weeks. Like I had a great new, huge, tool. I only learned a couple songs, of which amazing grace. My teacher once said - 'don't make it so scorchingly personal', hehe. Anyway I was piping it out loud just now and thought, hmm, do you think that the person that wrote that song ever did effexor (brain meds)? Cause, it's exactly like that song. Hymnic revolution.

Sometimes I wonder how everything is now ALL SO PERFECT. Is it because I am releasing a beast that will resound? Is it because I am moving? Is it because I just went up and down the mountain on skis in puffy snow? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Life is sooo f***ing easy now. I dream of things and they manifest. All I have to say is Respect. To whatever, however, no matter.

Amourx.