Rich

I have to do some more self therapy to avoid a more serious depression period. I call this catching myself. For the last couple days I've been patiently waiting to change my doctor (G.P.), then finding a psychologist, really focusing on those two steps as the main thing to do to keep me afloat.

My new G.P. confirmed that I could keep seeing him last Thursday. Huge success that was! It's so important to have a doctor that is Consistent, Competent and Trustworthy. I consider myself truly lucky. My quest for professional help has not been a walk in the park, but I found him.

Next step: the psychologist. Now I know who it is that I will call after writing this post. He's helping two of my sisters and both recommend him highly. If he accepts to help me too, I will need to rent a car and drive across the bridge to suburbia once a week. That plus paying whatever he charges, is quite a bit of Effort for me. I am a n-n-nervous driver who always chooses the passenger seat.

I've been piling up the evidence of my mood disorder in anticipation of my first meeting with him. The social phobia, the irritability, the depression, the clutter, the feeling false, guilty, the general unhappiness, the fear of not living my life.

So much so that I need to do something NOW about all this, I can't wait for him to meet me and get to know me. I can't wait and dump all my problems on him. I need to act right away!

Action is the greatest turner-arounder.

So I'll do what I know works best, and try new things too. Here are a couple things:

Staples:
Nutrition
Exercise
Outdoors/trips
Literature
Writing
Action!

New:
Keeping track of Relationships. Being rich in relationships is a new concept for me. In those terms I am quite poor, so I have to move my butt.

Social phobia literature. I'm not sure if this applies to me, but clearly I am more comfortable alone most of the time.

Social Calendar: I just set it up, a calendar to remind me of all the social things that I need to do this week. I sinked it to my cell phone. A simple thing that will help.

I guess I just want to get myself out of this 1-2 year multi-layered rut. It's not out of my reach. As low as I may feel sometimes, I have peaks of energy and will that defy anything. I am a Fighter.

Amourxxx