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A post in honor of my own quest for goodness. Looking for a Quality of life. All this gets wiped away so easily by one or two negative perceptions and everyday irritants. Note to self, never again launch something during the vacation period.

It's really difficult for me to let go. I keep gruges, I replay bad vibes, I pay attention to negative inputs.I learned that this was a trait in depressed people: they dwell, we dwell. I would even invent negativity just to make sure that it doesn't catch me off guard.

Well, I had done a lot of good to me in the last week-end even if it started all sad and confused. That small step towards edification sure seems to vanish in the time it takes to say 'work'.

I have a lot of issues at work. I always have, but no, I won't always. Some of my issues are environmental or out of my immediate control, but some issues are me. I'm quite suprised that I haven't self combusted yet or contemplated quitting out of sheer anxiety. Maybe the pills are helping for this. I have no way to know since everything, the job and the pills, are new.

I am pissed off at flies flying around me and my creaky loose chair.

Now back to better stuff. Pretty stuff, fluffy stuff, yummy stuff... I'm going to try a new deflect stance. You want something? I deflect you. Huh.

I started a google calendar just to put social stuff in it. I'm so tired now. What keeps me going? The notion that this will not be forever. What do I have to do:

1. Speak with bosses, collegues, when i get put down.


2. look for classes that i like


3. tell hr that i want to get back into creation