Exactly

So many things are in a quiet person's mind.

My hips are hurting a little bit and my blood pressure feels like low. I came out of my old therapists office very fatigued, this happens when I have big emotional moments. Occasionally I open a door and it all the emotions rush out of me like waterfalls, then my energy levels drop a lot, inducing me in a forced relaxation period.

There are so many things to measure it seems.

She will give me a couple references for a psychologist. She reminded me that I have to be followed for my pills (i always forget what there called) by a doctor, of course. I'm in a bit of a shit hole regarding that because I'm trying to change doctors since mine wasn't reliable. Family Doctors are a rare breed here, and it's proven impossible to change doctors after i have been assigned one, in my clinic anyways (I've been trying for 2 years to change, all i get is a 'go back to your doctor and talk about what you need' - err, i think that's her job. This is my brain we're taking about, rocket science Exactly)

It was during an appointment-less visit to the local clinic that I was prescribed my current medication by Not my doctor. Well I hope that a few phone calls will make him my doctor, because he felt like he knew a thing or two about depression and dystymia and was very practical about treatment. It felt like a breath of fresh air, even if he did make me realize right there that I was depressive, not just sleep deprived. I felt positive.

Does the medication help? It helped me sleep my nights from night one. I find it hard to get up in the morning sometimes. I didn't notice any other effect but this sleep thing is pretty cool. Probably also good for me too.

What else helps? Don't laugh: fitness magazines. I'm addicted to those now. They get me into training and eating well and trying to look good which is a no-brainer mood booster. Even when I'm tired and lazy, i like to read about that stuff. It used to be the Yoga Journal, now its Hers Muscles and Fitness. Hmm...

My attack on work today was sort off effective, because by complete chance a heavy workload vanished. I still have to run to keep up, I'm just hoping that I can find a mellow spot sometime soon just for sanity.

'Sanity check' is actually a milestone in one of my projects, I kid you not. I'll just need to add '(Apply to self)'.

Vacations are another great mood boosters. From the initial day dreaming, to the planning, to the pictures you look at when you return. Mine are in 2.5 months... hmm...

On those random notes I leave you, as always, with the word to spread around:

Amourxxx