Groping

Quickly once again. I am nervous about this week. It seems that I always need to confront things and people. I wish that things and people knew better how to align with me.

That was about work. What about me? Well, yesterday I was angry then beau did what I wanted which was his budget and we read and slept a lot. I did yoga by the evening for not moving much. I’m not fully better. I see that I am with a financially troubled guy who shouldn’t go on all the vacations that I am going to, that he even is going to. He doesn’t yet grope that reality or the urgency to change his course.

This is the first time that I am disassociating with him. I always love him enough to go through a lot, but yes change has to come too. Hey there is still a possibility of a baby this month. I know what I am doing.

And how to calm myself -- with vacations of course. Let me book them soon, go to Charlevoix, take him if he can. Oh god I will be paying for it in all logical steps. I don’t want to go alone.

I am not that miserable. I am burned out and stressed out. But I have a good home, boyfriend, family, friends, income, health and brains.

Start writing indeed.

Amourx.