Less is Less

I had a lovely week-end. Bookended with stressy work stuff but in between, there was yoga and nails and a long bike ride in the caressing sun. There was my beau waking me with coffee in the Cubita cups. A walk in a different neighborhood with people watching, ice cream (sorbet for me) and a drink in the loveliest terrasse of the loveliest corner where every culture meet in grace at Hutchison & Fairmount.

Oh and a beautiful and sooo tasty dish of lamb and porc chops on vegetables. The taste blew us away. It must have been the combination of slow cooked meat juice, dijon mustard and that corse pink salt from the Andes.

I may be getting better. I have these pangs of stress that wake me and take over. I observe these and they fleet but sometimes I catch judgements. They would be judgements of my wrongdoing or wrongbeing, but this is a very fleeting impression, then I have this bleh feeling or malaise that I probably push out as fast as possible. If I follow this sequence rationnaly the judgment leads to shame of being and fear of doing. But this is getting ahead of myself because when I meditate or when I breath through the pangs, I mostly feel the fear.

Meditating is like taking a warm bath. I feel renewed and relaxed afterwards. I look forward to it, to find out how am I doing today. It created some space and I see that's what is needed to calm myself and to work through my troubles. My troubles are linked to having too much, work, food, information, paperwork, clutter, drinks, stress... Creating some time for nothing is healing. Eating less food, being mindful about it, is also a pleasant effect that is calming and connecting me to my body.

This body is still miles away from this head, but they are reaching out and still want to be together.

Amourx.