Enlightement

In the bibliotheek - a Grand Place with 360 high views of the city. A voice of the 30s sings over a grand piano in the distance. Pods and places to sit in all kinds of ways, facing the city or not, sheltered or out in the open. Spectacular interior design - light abounds. At the top floor, high-end cantine, delicious and perfect - a suprisingly great place to dine, and a great location by the Central Station. I could spend every day here. I can see the slanted Nemo building from here, where I may go next. Quite the place to be today.

I didn't notice the books.

I am sort of taking my Friday off and it happened like this: the office internet connection is down, and I am even more down. I have a bit of a cold and am always still very tired. Last night at around 10pm, I uncharacteristically took my bike (it's way to small for me) and met friends to go to a party. Came back alone at 3am. I was not going to be bright and early. In fact, the first thing I did in this grand library is found a chair designed like an opened flower in front of a 5th floor window, with the giant table sized poofs paired to each green flower chair, this spot was perfect for a bit of sleep. And I slept deeply and soundly. Then I had soup.

In my minuscule, nether-smelly hotel bedroom, I have a very good full-lenght mirror. It made me face a very obvious fact. I, am fat. And I, am bagged shapped. My face has swollen, is round a puffy. My upper arms are big and slack, and did I see something like cellulite there? Maybe that's pushing it, but they are jiggely. My breasts, well, I pause somethimes wondering how they got that big, fighting for space between my big arms, bouncing forward like a threat. My legs, I don't really look at them anymore.

But what struck me this morning was my belly. Sitting on my bed which caused my arse fat to spread and buldge around me, I saw two very well defined tires, one sitting on top of the other, where my belly used to be. Together with the afore mentioned buldge, all of this created the unmistakable shape of a bag. Fat that hangs, this is where I am today. Uhg.

I don't plan to keep it. I have cut my medication in half; I am doing an hour of bicycle per day; I won't eat too much; I have an excercise band routine that I do in my minuscule Nether-room. I will relax, am getting back into yoga, that sort of thing.

That is all I have to say now.

Amourx