Life can change in little ways. This is a thought that just passed, and I like the thought. I believe in this little thought. That very small things can generate small changes, good changes, that subtly cling to life and give it a new colour or light in time. Like a new light fixture in a living room, or clean floors and clean dishes at the same time.
Like a workout in the evening. And logging in what I ate (ouch) and how I measure (no surprise here, all the numbers are up compared to the last time I measured in september).
It's easy to be angry at all the things that I don't do. Things that don't ever seem to get done. Things that slip by because I don't have time, or I'm too tired, or I'm overwhelmed, or angry. But meanwhile the little things happen by the by.
I am by no means a well balanced person, outwardly speaking. Inside I keep a tend a good garden, I'm resilient and I have a few tricks under my sleeve for when it gets rough. Outside, I have a few spheres that are avoided as a rule, and some others that are forgotten when it gets hectic and when I am beat. Fitness got dropped a few months ago, but I am picking it back up now, lightly, as a little thing by the by.
Hosting in my house has always been avoided, but this theory is being crashed slowly. My man is helping me, and it is unsettling for sure. I am out of my comfort zone, and I am far from hosting. I am only tending to my home slowly, and it gets me in all sorts of tangled twists internally. I think this is normal yes?
Today I have dropped yet again the dose of the meds that I am replacing by another. I will be stopping this first med in 2 weeks. So far I don't feel the doom and gloom spectre so the transition is going well. I think the side effects that I am trying to avoid with this switch are diminishing, but it's still early days to say. I know that exercise will help.
I am very far from perfect and I sometimes have a hard time accepting it. I want to please and if I fail, I am not comfortable. I get uncomfortable when I know ahead of time that I will fail. That's my stress paradigm.
My body is very well relaxed after the little workout I had today, by the by. It doesn't care about all the thoughts and reflexion, it only care that I exerted it and now it's giving me thanks in the form of sublime detente.
Amourx.
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