About Cracks

A little status. I felt depressed yesterday night. Nothing too heavy but I want to record it. I think that I threw in a good days work, then I went home and moved very little. I had the option to run or knit or watch a movie and I didn't. I read some and fell asleep early.

Remember that song that cracked my heart in the morning? The line is fine for me between being inspired to feel love and being hurt from the feeling of loss (or something like that). I think that I crossed that line, and the song which is really a heartbreaking song of mourning, pushed me there. Cracks are unpredictable in nature, but I still welcome them, consequence and all, as long as it doesn't happen too fast. I just happened to remember love and even desire.

Friends, I think that I have enough material to make my own freaking therapy.

So, there was that. There was changing my lunch plans and running for a sandwich. And the most tangible stressor for me was forcing myself in the uber teflon team. It's a tough time for me doing that, but I should give myself props for doing it like good little robot.

I think that I may have spent too many days alone. Going to Turkey is a stressor too. And I did have my inner voice of nagging doom throwing stuff at me.

Alright, onwards. I have an open day today. A lunch to talk about Turkey with a girl that I am interested to know at work. I hope to make the work day meaningful and have good breaks. Tonight I would go for a 40 min. run/walk... maybe straight after work i'm thinking. And I have my weight training at home. Friday is open. Saturday I have a Party and from then on september has filled up with lots of social stuff. I don't know if my wee heart will open enough to see and seize the opportunity. Food for thought. Amourx.