Let come and go

It was the first option. The wanted to talk about terminating my work for them. Then they didn't, because they asked me what I wanted, and I said I wanted to keep working there in Montreal. They said there may not be work, they'd get back to me. Does it matter that there is work? Of course not.

The office protocol talk really blows my brains. I don't know what was the best answer, it wasn't what they wanted or expected. I saw that my answers pissed her off sometimes. You wonder what are you supposed to say, but... there is no right answer. Not immediately. I completely understood that I was let go until she turned it around into protocoly next steps talk. I wholly understood that I am not wanted. The Montreal company doesn't want me, not just my direct report.

That's too bad. There really is no solid grounds for this if we have to go that way; there's been a whole lot of silence from my Montreal direct report. Silence can kill but it can't be used in an argument. We may have spent 2 hours talking in the last year. There has been no warning, no previous complaints, talk, nothing. Issues were blurted out for the first time right there on the spot, but, she was getting ahead of herself, this was a work termination/what do I want talk. The issues talk would come next I suppose. They tend to prefer impact over good order.

Silence has told me a lot in the past year, but that's all there ever was. In fact, it's only because I freed myself from Amsterdam projects that there is this talk.

You try to draw a line between the truth and what matters.

I wonder what someone with good office protocol skills would do? I wonder if tactically I should say yes, lets terminate this. Am I losing good termination conditions if I make it more difficult for them? I seriously wondered for a moment, what was the best thing to do if I was smart.

It's still too fresh but needless to say I very much prefer to call my own shots. Today I know that I do like my work and the people that surround my work (and they like me too), and that I don't have to mind very much at the rational that will be given to me. It should not hurt so much, and creates a good momentum. Good. I have a lot of thoughts to let come and go.

Amourx.