Slowly

Water and more water will take care of the inkling residue of shame/guilt I have from another great ''over-drinking to the point of memory loss" work party. I don't think that I had enough fun to justify it.

I have been good with energy conservation (apart from that night of course). I have some good plans for work too - I'll try to move on to strategy. Strategist produce written documents, and that's something that I like to do. Plus I think that I'd be damn good at it.

I've been in a rut lately, even if I love the client, the travel, much of my co-workers, and I appreciate the experience I keep acquiring and the assurance that I get (hell I'm the senior of the small group now, it boggles the mind). Still it's a struggle to keep motivation up - something to do with the daily grind and repetition. I get tired of that rapidly. I'm not crazy about the flora either.

And, I have a book plan. It's 5 years long, so I can finish it at the round age of 40. I'm taking a couple months to decide what genre, but I have my mind set on a serial. There's something unfinished about each tome of a series that is comforting. The task of delivering one finite book, that would hold in it a complete, hole, story, is scary. I can't hold it all in one. I can't be that perfect.

I wish that I wasn't so washed out by drinks. I had to leave work at noon on Friday. I was going green.

That's all. I'm recovering. Today I shall find the vacuum cleaner bags or sweep. I'll put the clothes and dishes away. If I'm good, I'll even screw a few things.

Then I'll try to get back into exercise. I'll probably ditch the gym, I can't keep up and the people there are too healthy, I swear. I think I should do loner stuff for now, slowly.

I'll have to revisit my meds regiment because it kills the libido too much. There is not a lot of passion in my writing, not a lot of passion in my life. But there is a slow burning fire still happening, and I am never giving that up. I'm still fighting, it's less apparent.

Amourx.