Sonata

The weight-in this morning brought me a half a pound bigger. I'm struggling or not doing this well. Of course there was the insane outlawed night where not only drinks where drunken but food was eaten. And most nights of the week I went over my calorie limit, but I must say that I ate well and varied. I even made chicken stock and had Tonkenese style soup 3 times, yum.

I will take up running. Read the book. Should be fine. And then I say, half a pound is not the end of the world.

What else is inspiring me in this morning, let's see. I'm at the café. Yesterday it was the first night in forever that I wanted to get un and clean my kitchen without any nagging feeling behind me of what a low-po I am. It was enjoyable,even, cause I listened to podcasts and had exactly two shelfs in neat order and I guess that's all it takes. I'm contemplating doing a podcast myself. But it is quite a step to put myself out there. Though, much easier than going on stage in front of a crowd.

My friend wants to go clubbing in sleazytown and lo that is not what I'm up to. Bad music and too much drinking won't do me any good. And yes I am worried about not meeting someone forever but these places don't make me feel any better, they tend to make me feel worse. And I don't want to judge -- in fact I'm not, I'm just saying.

Can I say that I signed up to two meeting sites, received a lot of emails and immediately created a rule in my inbox to send them all to a folder called 'lost hopes', never to look at them again. Lost hope isn't for the quality of the emails, they were generic enough. It's more that I found the system overwhelming perhaps. I wasn't ready. But I think I should initiate a first date just to get in motion. It's been 6 years after all, except for a little bumpy period 4 years ago.

What would do me good? I would go to a concert if I where doing something like that. I would go to the beach or to the mountain. I would go visit the gym and maybe I would shop for a set of weights for the home. Create my new workout. I would clean my craft room so that I can buy my Singer Talent sewing machine. I would roam around town and discover stuff and have a really great day. And if someone offered to do something like that with me, I would go.

A small blond curly haired cherub just climbed on the seat beside me, no mom to be seen. Cuteness. She eventually came to corral him. He came back and was corralled back by his papa.

Amourx.