Well I'm waking up tonight in a bad place. Recent events at work has affected me much, I'm... depressed. And I looked at my bank account. Time to start budgeting, because I probably have spent for the next year. That's alright, I have reasons.
I am still in my condo, in my own peace. I have things to do for the next year even if i wasn't going to spend a dime. Even if I didn't work per say. Things to do for a life.
A position in Amsterdam was nearly offered to me, it got jinxed by the unfortunate recent events. I wasn't going to relocate tomorrow anyway - and this is what they would of wanted. I need time. I have to learn, an organization will care for itself first and foremost. It's not about me. I'm in charge of that part.
I'm definitely fragile. I had gained a calm assurance and a gigantic drive that came with experience, good relations, and drugs (the legal kind). I still have them, yet I feel like the floor was pulled away from beneath me. One relation has tainted everything else. I can rationalize that my equation is wrong, but I can't shake the feeling tonight.
Good things of today
The rain showers (really)
My boyfriend's joke
The clean, ordered clothes
The multiple coffees
The comfort of my home
The solo lunch break
Thinking of what comes next
Onwards, onwards.
Amourx.
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