Twelve o'clock

This is a down, my first one, coming after mostly highs but it's never pretty to be here. Therefor I look at things starkly even if I am not poorly, not neglected, not unloved... but. I can look at it starkly.

I'd say the past 7 years have been something like a electro-ressucitation that started with a relationship, a struggle and a loss. Deep insatisfaction with my occupation (but at least I had something whereas before that nothing was sure), a firing, then a challenging job and finally a decent one. A long relationship with the wrong guy. And here I am asking again the same question: will I be loved. Will I be seen.

Fuck Fuck Fuck I don't want to go there, probably won't stay long. I'm working on it a lot. I'm a hard worker. I work. This is brought to you by too hot weather and too cheap sangria alone.

love.

Question de vieux

Est-ce que j'ai encore, par hasard, des lecteurs de l'époque ancienne - du temps de la neige et de la poésie? Suis-je encore une rubrique dans un vieux fil rss ignoré? Je me demande.

Gaar - uuush

Intentions

I need to write about beauty. I will get there.

Record

Um - I am a bit sick and deaf in one year. It's fine because I just had an invitation to the U2 concert on Friday, so I won't need earplugs, well maybe just one.

The moral is where it's at here on the descentes/girlinabottle blog my people, you all know that. And so, the moral is... ok.

I stayed home today because of this weird cold - I missed a day of of training (but I will be able to take it back) and something went god-awfully wrong at work and if I had been there, it would have made a difference. But hey I won't talk about work otherwise the rumors that I'm still too much in my work will turn out true.

Love? No. I'm not needy right now. I have girlfriends and a few regrets - I'm still an odd duck socially. But eventually I will need to see the world.

This isn't helping. But it is a record.

Amourx

Free

Well well well, it has been a good spell.

I have been up to some stuff, namely:
I made myself single

Well that's the biggest thing. I'm sick to-day so I won't be brilliant. I have had the itch to write some more in here, cause we all know that I am not a talker. And some things need to be written. So.

I still put too much of me in work, but I am getting better and having more fun. I have had the most girlfriend nights and chats since I left high school. I talk about my breakup to all who ask - I'm usually at peace. Sometimes a tad weary, but I get back on track quickly.

I have not made a move towards new men. Could they not come to me i say... I think I'm still tired and need to shape up. Oh and on that topic, I'm feeling a bit larger than I'd like to be, but, I still like me, even this way.

I'm still me, just a bit more free.

Amourx.